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3 Simple Ways to Stay Connected During the Back-to-School Rush
What a weekend! Well… closer to 24 hours, not counting six hours of drive time. I made a spur-of-the-moment trip to visit Amanda and the girls. I arrived around noon on Friday and pulled out just after lunchtime on Saturday. Normally I’d only make that drive if I could stay for a few days, but this was Morgan’s first year on swim team—and one of her final meets—so I hopped in the car.
We packed it all in: the swim meet, card games, pizza, organizing books on new shelves, bedtime stories, and even a few minutes of watching baby quail dart around their backyard. It was quick, but was full of great memories.
And it was also a good reminder to me of just how much is going on in their lives right now. Even on what they called a “nothing day”—a day without appointments or events—there were still a lot of moving parts. Three growing girls. A busy house. So much happening.
Now, the school year is just around the corner. Morgan starts 3rd grade, Kami heads to Kindergarten, and little Tate begins preschool. Those “nothing days” of summer are about to become rare. And while I love the back-to-school season, I also feel the ache of wanting to be closer—to be present for all the excitement and new beginnings. So I start a mental list of ‘all the things’ I could do to stay connected during this season. And then I remember to slow my roll.
You see I’ve learned something over the years: In my desire to stay connected, it’s easy to overdo it. Easy to expect too much—from myself and from them. And that creates pressure for everyone. Yep – that quick visit reminded me to slow down, pay attention, and trust what I already know works.
So while they’re heading back to school, I’m going back to the basics—the simple, meaningful rhythms of long-distance grandparenting that build connection over time. For me, that means focusing on three things: mindfulness, consistency, and spontaneity.
Here are a few ideas for each area you might consider.
Mindfulness
Keep a notepad and pen nearby (or open the notes on your phone) when you are chatting with your grown kids or grand kids and jot down a few of the details you learn. Then later you can follow up.
- “How’s that glittery backpack?”
- Is the slide still your favorite part of recess?”
- “I remember today is library day. Hope you got a great book.”
- “I can’t believe you are driving to school!”
Create a “Back-to-School Question Jar.” Write thoughtful questions on slips of paper and send them in the mail:
“What’s your teacher’s favorite phrase?”
“Who makes you laugh the most?”
They can answer one each week (as they are able) during a phone call, text or video call.
Here’s what’s happening: When you ask about these little things, kids feel seen, which is a gift—especially in a busy season.
Consistency
Start a “First Friday Photo Exchange.” On the first Friday of each month, send them a picture of something from your week and ask for one from theirs. This means they can choose from something that is already on their camera roll. We aren’t asking them to create new content to send grandma.
My grands all get dropped off for school by Amanda, and so they spend a bit of time in the dropoff line. It’s fun to text a joke to them. They love it, they can share it with friends, and they can respond with a quick emoji if they have time.
Here’s what’s happening: Kids start to look forward to these touchpoints because they feel stable, even when life around them is busy.
Spontaneity
I’ve read that consistency is the steady drumbeat and spontaneity is the confetti! Make sure to sprinkle some into your relationship with your grandkids!
Send short notes or encouragement, or jokes to your grown kid to tuck into your grandchild’s lunchbox – you can send a few ahead of the school year. Parents will know just the day to include one and brighten your grandchild’s day.
Mail a “mystery envelope” with a riddle, puzzle, or small trinket every now and then. What a fun surprise! You could send young kids a sheet of stickers, coloring page/puzzle or a new pair of fun socks. Older kids will enjoy a favorite snack or small gift card for their favorite drink or treat
As this new school year begins, let’s remember that building strong relationships with our grandkids doesn’t require grand gestures. A little mindfulness to notice what matters to them, a bit of consistency to keep us woven into their routines, and a sprinkle of spontaneity to keep things light and fun. Even from a distance, we can be a steady, joyful presence in their lives. So here’s to going back to the basics—and to a school year filled with connection, creativity, and love across the miles.
