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Conversation starters with younger kids are so easy to come up with, but conversation starters for teens? Do teens even talk? The good news is that yes, they do! Sometimes it might be through text, emojis, or a meme, rather than verbally, but let’s face it, we’re after the relationship, not a grade in public speaking, right?
The truth is that teenagers can be great conversationalists. Their minds are full of thoughts, ideas and opinions, but sometimes they just aren’t ready to share them with us grownups. Those thoughts can also be in such a constant state of change that they are just trying to sort things out in their own minds, much less share them!
Being a teenager today can be tough! Although we had many of the same root feelings and scenarios, they are dealing with a much different world today than we did. Consider the stresses they have in life that are different from when you were a teen.
Consider Your GrandTeens Pressure Points
We’re going to take a look at what many of them have reported experiencing, thinking and feeling in today’s world. Our understanding of these things may just kickstart a few conversations!
- Technology has a huge impact on almost every area of their lives. While we also dealt with bullying, friends ‘talking behind our backs’, and had a general idea of who ‘liked’ us, those things are now magnified exponentially, and on social media for all the world to see.
- Teens have immense pressure to perform well in school and sports – to be on the travel team, to get the scholarship. They often experience peer pressure regarding body image, friendship groups, and social conduct.
- They may feel like we trivialize matters that to them are the most important things in the world.
- Teens may feel like we are always ready to lecture or provide our version of a simple solution to what they are facing.
- They may feel that we don’t really know about anything that is popular in their world. And truth be told, we might not!
Tips for Conversations with Teens
So what can we do? In our instagram stories this week we asked you for ideas on how you start conversations with your tweens or teens. As promised, here’s a few of our favorites!
1. Learn their slang, but please don’t use it! When your teen grandkids say something you’re not sure you understand, or send you a pic of their ‘fit’ (outfit), feel free to ask them to translate. That’s also a great time to share a slang term that was popular when you were their age. Resist the impulse to tell them to ‘just use plain English’. Becuase remember, we didn’t! Here’s an article from January 2020, 21 slang words teens and Genzers are using in 2020 and what they mean. Keep in mind, these words vary geographically, and may already be ‘so last season’ (yep – dated myself right there!)
2. My son said to ask ‘How many rappers do you know who have ‘Lil’ as part of their name?” Now he said this as a joke, but he does teach middle school and highschool students so as I thought through it a bit more I decided to include it. Because really, having a clue of what they are listening to helps you learn more about them.
3. Another reader suggested exchanging spotify or iTunes playlists. Even if you don’t think you’ll like each others music, promise to give it a try.
4. We also received a suggestion from someone who is not a grandma, but is loving connecting digitally with her nieces and nephews right now. She is having a great time sending funny memes to them. We love this idea too! When you run across a meme that fits their situation in life right now, send it their way.
If you are ‘friends’ with them or follow them on social media, make note of some of some of their posts for future conversations.
Conversation Starters for Teens
The Conversation Starters for Teens
- If someone told you to change your first name, what would you choose?
- What is a favorite memory from when you were little?
Here are a few more ideas from a blog called Childhood101. You can check out the entire article, 21 Conversation Starters for talking with your Tween About Their day here. (You may need to modify these for your grandchild’s current schooling situation.)
- When you are doing schoolwork, what do you wish you did less of/more of?
- What do you wish you could learn at school/what class do you wish were offered at your school, and why?
- What was the hardest part of today?
- When were you bored today?
- What made you laugh today?
There will be days that our attempts will fall flat (or we think they do), and other days when a quick interaction will pave the way for a fun and meaningful exchange. Never forget that the time invested in conversation with your older grandchild is valuable! Amidst the briefest of exchanges, and just really listening to what they have to say, you are opening doors to future conversations!
Looking for conversation starters for your younger grandkids?
