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Psychological Safety Part 2
Psychological Safety is an important part of effective leadership, businesses, and teams. It’s also an important concept for families! Amy Edmonson, the Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at the Harvard Business School describes it as “a climate in which people are comfortable expressing and being themselves.”. My hope is that each of us as grandparents can be considered a safe place for family.
Last week we explored the four stages of Psychological Safety as defined by Timothy R, Clark in his book ‘the 4 Stages of Psychological Safety: Defining the path to Inclusion and Innovation’.
He describes the four stages as Inclusion Safety, Learner Safety, Contributor Safety and Challenger Safety. If you haven’t read that blog post yet, I highly recommend it! You can read Creating a Healthy Atmosphere For Your Family here!
6 Ways to Psychological Safety
Today we are getting practical. How can we be a person who is psychologically safe for others? In other words, how can we be a safe place for family? Bernard Coleman III wrote an article for Forbes titled ‘Are You Psychologicaly Safe” . In the article he shares six simple ways leaders can provide psychological safety for their team.
We’re going to look at at those six concepts through the lens of a grandparent today.
1. Responding to Mistakes
Mistakes are part of growth. As grandparents, we need to respond to the mistakes of our grown kids and grandkids in a way that communicates that mistakes are part of life. That they are, in fact, part of the process of improving and getting better at something. If we overreact, we diminish the chances for them to experience this.
2. Be Conversational
Make it a conversation. Be grandparents who are seen as supporting, not questioning. Instead of asking “Why did you do that”?, even though our intent is to really understand why, consider asking something like “Where did you learn about this technique?” or “Can you explain the thought behind this?” Before speaking, consider whether you are asking a good question or a rhetorical one.
3. Be Vulnerable
Be vulnerable. When we mess up, we need to own our error and apologize. Just as being quick to forgive others creates and atmosphere for continued improvement, our ability to own our own mistakes contributes to the openness that will help the family know that mistakes and errors can be talked about and worked through.
4. Have Boundaries and Goals
Establish Accountability. I’m going to call this one ‘boundaries and goals’. Have a conversation about what is important in your relationship with your grandkids, and set some boundaries and some goals!
For example, I love showing off pictures of the girls, but don’t share them social media unless I have asked for permission. I also hope to have an opportunity once a week to connect with them virtually – we need to be able to have the conversation about how that can work between our busy schedules.
Check out Ground Rules for Grandparenting to gain more insight on this topic!
5. Be There
Be there. This one is both so easy, and so hard, especially for long distance grandparents! While I would love to be there in person, there are lots of ways I can be available even from a distance. Sometimes it’s just knowing the fact that I’m a phone call or text away that is the best support ever for my daughter. Don’t miss the opportunity to remind your family how ‘close’ you are!
6. Freak Out on the Inside
Compose yourself. When my kids were at home I was given the best advice for when things got rough. Here it is: “Freak out on the inside.”. The way we respond to our grown kids and grandkids in times of stress or trouble will go a long ways in determining if we are welcomed into those situations in the future.
We need to be able to maintain our composure and our emotions, and respond with rational and optimistic thinking. “We can get through this.” What a wonderful behavior to be known for!
Being a Safe Place for Family
This understanding is so helpful to me, and I am excited to have this very practical filter I can use in my role as a grandparent. The thought of creating an environment where my grown kids and grandkids can feel comfortable being and expressing themselves is a goal worth working on, and will continue to set our family up for success!
If you’re interested in reading more on psychological safety this article from Forbes is and interesting resource on the topic. And don’t forget to check out Ground Rules for Grandparenting next!
