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Why Long-Distance Love is a Big, Beautiful Experiment
My oldest granddaughter is quite the scientist. She has a love for studying what is in front of her, creating theories and testing them out. While watching her I had the sudden thought that grandparenting can feel a lot like a lifelong science experiment.
As our grandkids grow, we are constantly observing, adjusting, trying new things, and celebrating even the smallest breakthroughs. It’s a fun and surprisingly fitting way to think about how we build strong, joyful connections with our grandkids across the miles. Let’s break it down into some really practical steps.
Ask a Question
Science begins with curiosity — just like meaningful grandparenting.
Start by wondering:
- What brings my grandchild joy right now?
- How can I support them from a distance?
- What do they need from me in this season of their life?
- These questions keep us engaged, observant, and ready to connect with who our grandkids are — not just who they used to be.
Do a Little Background Research
Scientists check what’s already known before they dive into new experiments.
Grandparents can do the same!
- Listen closely on calls or video chats.
- Text with their parents to ask what your grandchild is into right now.
- Keep an eye out for books, games, or toys that match their interests.
The more we “study” them, the more we see — and that understanding will make our connection with them that much better!
Form a Hypothesis
Let’s call this the “If-Then” part of grandparenting:
- If I send a funny letter each week, then my grandchild will look forward to my written words.
- If we do Zoom storytime each weekend, then a treasured tradition of reading together might begin.
- If we color together, then it will help conversation flow in a natural manner.
We take guesses — educated ones — about how best to connect with them, and we give it a try.
Run the Experiment
Talk with your grown kids about your ‘hypothesis’, and how you plan to run your experiment. Enlist their help if needed.
For example, give them a heads up when you pop something in the mail so the kids might have a chance to discover their mail themselves.
If you want to set up a weekly storytime date, talk with your grown kids about the best time for that to happen. They may even create a special story area for your time together.
Whatever your experiment, having the grown kids as your ‘lab partners’ will be a tremendous help.
You don’t have to get it right the first time. Science is all about trying things, seeing what works, and adjusting as you go.
Record and Analyze the Results
- Did they respond with excitement?
- Did something flop?
- Did they laugh, light up, or start asking you questions?
I have had a few experiments fail – such as a game I thought would be fun that they didn’t find interesting, but I also have some precious screenshots of my grandkids while on virtual calls, and some pictures from Amanda of them sleeping with a picture I mailed. These little moments are your data — and they’ll help you know what they treasure most!
Draw a Conclusion (And Keep Going!)
Even simple conclusions like: They love it when I ask about the dog or they prefer morning texts over evening video calls.
Each discovery can help you shape your future connections with thoughtfulness and love.
Repeat the Process
Science never stops — and neither does grandparenting!
Keep trying. Keep adjusting. Keep showing up!
Whether you’re experimenting with Zoom calls, mailing surprise packages, or swapping backyard discoveries, you’re conducting something powerful: the science of staying connected.