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We all want a relationship with our grandkids that spans the miles and feels natural. Often, when something feels natural it is because of some planning and work that has been done behind the scenes. Enter, the roadmap for long distance grandparents!
The good news is that when it comes to grandkids, planning rarely feels like work.
Over the years in our work with kids and families we have come to believe that it is the combination of consistency, mindfulness, and spontaneity that lay the foundation for a growing relationship.
It is these principles working together that make up the strategy we call the “Roadmap for Long Distance Grandparents”.
When we do a bit of planning, these three principles have the potential to produce great results and help us ‘get where we want to go’ with our grandkids!
#1 Be Consistent
When building and maintaining a relationship, consistency is key.
As long distance grandparents, we do not have the luxury of physical proximity to rely on when building a relationship with our grandkids.
However, we still have tools available to us such as various forms of technology, a mailbox, etc. and we need to use them consistently.
Let’s first clarify what consistency means though before we get too far.
As a long distance grandparent I often find myself saying “whenever works” as we try to figure out a good time to connect.
For our family and probably most of yours, we don’t have a set time to FaceTime each week, we just do it as it works, and that’s okay.
Connecting consistently doesn’t mean the same time, in the same way, every week – it’s more about the pattern of behavior.
It’s important we “show up” for our grandkids in a way that shows them we are reliable, and that they can come to expect to hear from us on a regular basis.
Set a goal of how often you would like to connect, then assess your options.
For example, you might decide to connect once a week through a mix of phone calls, video chat, texting, or snail mail.
We have come to LOVE mail as our main form of consistent connection then we layer video chats and other forms of connection on top as our schedules work out.
Check out the Mail Membership – it completely changed my ‘wish it were easier’ thinking into back-and-forth connections every month!
Make sure to think about which methods work best for each of you. Your grandkids will look forward to it and begin to expect to hear from you consistently.
2. Long Distance Grandparents are Mindful
Learn about your grandkids and their schedules. Find out more about their likes and dislikes. Consider their current successes and challenges.
Jot down some ideas for upcoming conversations or activities.
Your continued learning about their lives shows them you are interested in them.
Read: Long Distance Grandparenting Mindset – 11 Things I Choose to Focus on and You Should Too
That can open up even more opportunities to grow closer together in the future.
Don’t get this confused with needing to write EVERYTHING down as you are talking with them.
The things you remember will give you natural conversation starters for when you’re having that phone call, and will also open the door for spontaneous connections!
#3 Be Spontaneous
Be spontaneous – we know – you can’t plan spontaneity, but when you’ve been consistent and mindful, spontaneity will come much more naturally!
Your grandkids will love it when, in addition to your regular communication, you suddenly toss in an extra text, or send a care package in the mail that goes along with something pertinent in their lives they told you about last week.
For example, I read books regularly with my granddaughter. A recent one was about bugs.
So I sent her mom a text featuring a picture of a ladybug in my garden with a message that says “Thought about you when I saw this cute little bug!”
It doesn’t have to be a big event. Spontaneity has a huge impact no matter the size of the event or the age of your grandchild.
Actually, the post below is a craft born out of a spontaneous moment and we had a ton of fun!
Read: No Supplies Needed Spring Craft for Grandkids
Over the years in our work with kids and families, the combination of these principles have proven to lay the foundation for a growing relationship.
We hope you are off to plan a great season of connecting with your grandkids!